IMMIGRATION SOLUTION

The people of Mexico have an immigration problem. Every spring they have to deal with thousands of Spring break college students and the nudity, disturbed peace, and drunken obnoxiousness they bring. And then there are the retired folk coming in and Speaking English, the vacationing families using all of Mexico's sunscreen suply, and the shady criminal looking to lay low. All very hard for a society to absorb.
On the other hand they have another immigration problem. They lose valulable human resources to the United States. And that is just an economic cost, which does not include the emotional cost of having a family broken up for economic reasons, and then having to face the prospect of this family member being at great danger by berzerk vigilanties called the minutemen. As if the trek into the US was not dangerous enough, they have to face Yosemitte Sam and Elmer Fudd like characters who seem hopped up on stimulants.
SO, as self appointed czar of border fairness I propose these solutions.

1. For Every Mexican the US takes we have to give two Americans. Mexican Immigrants work at least two jobs usually and thus are worth at least two Americans.

2. Improved enforcement of laws in both the US and Mexico. We hereby agree to not let criminals like that Creepy Max Factor heir escape to Mexico. Flashers on Mexico's beaches will be sent home early with no souvieners. Law enforcement will be expected in both countries.

3. As many Illegal aliens pay thousands of dollars to some smuggler to enter the US, we will have a new deposit of $2000 to enter this country, and then the Immigrant shall be given a ride to which ever city needs some work done, and recieve a gift basket with coupons and a handbook explaining the basics of our culture. Scratch that, we will include HAPPY DAYS dvds. The adventures of the Cunninghams and the Fonze will have to do, and I think looking at my generation (x) we can agree that the Happy Days is the best indoctrination into American civilization. "Ayyyyyyyyy"

4. As language is a huge barrier for our Continent, all citizens shall learn American Sign Language. Thats right, on both sides of the border. Right now! Fine, you are going to be lazy about it, we all have to learn French. They get to have a masculine /femine language, we get to keep our Eurocentric outlook. I hear any grumbling about this and we all switch to Esperanto! Then William Shatner (who starred in the only full length Movie made featuring Esperant as the language) will be the obvious choice for president!

More terms later, maybe even a new blogspot for this new self appointed office, Thanks, Art
(known as Arturo to fans of Latin Languages)